Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
