Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
