I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
