smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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