I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
