quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
