Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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