i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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