I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize