My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
