out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
