Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
