I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
