Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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