Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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