I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
