yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
