I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's never too late to be topless.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
