For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
