Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
This is my gift to your gina
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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