well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
