he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
