I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
