There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
