no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
