Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
