He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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