Having a random hookup so left but love u
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
