Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
