when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
