Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
