please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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