hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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