Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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