so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
