M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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