Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize