I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
