"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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