The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize