I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
