He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
