think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
