Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
