i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
