New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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