Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
