Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
