Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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