I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
