remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
