White coat. Heels.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
