the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
