I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
