porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
