But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
