Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
